shrug {lrh}

november 9, 2014

"alexa!" my mother shouted, "why do you keep on bringing wild animals into my house!"

i slowly opened my eyes. she was standing in front of couch and staring down at me with rage filled eyes. she was so done with me it was almost funny.

"shrug is not a wild animal. he is very tame and domestic," i smiled up at her, making her grey eyes narrowed.

"i'm talking about this thing," she gestured to peanut.

"it's not a thing. it's a he. his name is peanut," i said calmly.

"you named it?!" she asked incredulously.

"mhm."

"i will never understand you," she rubbed her temple, "why? just, why do you think it's okay to bring animals into our house?"

"he's the first one! well, in a while."

"would you like me to list off the animals you have brought into our house without my permission?"

"if you want to," i shrugged, "i have very good reasons for bringing them home."

she started counting on her fingers, "that 3-legged cat a-"

"sparkles was adorable!" i defended.

"she was a 3-legged stray cat!"

"she was so fluffy though," i smiled at the fond memory i had of her. i found her trying to climb a tree and i gave her some turkey. she followed me home after that. i liked watching her hobble around; wow, i'm awful.

"what else? oh! that praying mantis!"

"i was going through a phase where i thought bugs were the best thing ever! don't judge me!"

"what about that dog that you brought home?"

"which one?"

"the one you named after that lead singer guy."

i gasped, "kurt cobain?! he was one of my favorites." i turned around to luke, "he was the runt of the litter and had this shaggy blonde hair like cobain. he was such a cute puppy."

"and that squirrel you wanted your father to catch for you!" she groaned, "i'm pretty sure that squirrel was rabid."

"squeakers was cute and i was four."

"there's one more i think...it was the hamster you almost stole! i could have gone to jail!"

"the poor thing just wanted some food but his siblings kept eating it. what else was i supposed to do, let dr. pip starve?"

"my 14-year-old daughter almost stole a hamster whom she named dr. pip, how do you think that made me look?"

"like someone who raised a caring child who doesn't like watching animals with creative names be starved," i smiled.

she shook her head and tried to shoo peanut off the couch but he jumped up. his paws rested on her stomach and he attempted to lick her face.

"he likes you," i giggled.

"get off of me," she grumbled and pushed him down. he whined so i pulled him to me.

"oh you poor thing. just play with luke, okay?" i set him on luke's stomach before standing up.

"he needs to go, alexa. i love you and i want to make you happy but we can't take care of him," she sighed, "we don't have the money."

"i give him our stale food and i can use the money i get from my job to get him the stuff he'll need."