shrug {lrh}

january 17, 2015

it was now saturday and luke was waiting outside of the italian restaurant with me.

"i don't think he's going to come," i sighed.

"baby, he's only two minutes late."

"but-"

"just be patient," he gently pressed his lips to my temple.

"let's just go in and wait for him there," i grabbed luke's hand and led him inside.

"how many?" the hostess asked.

"three," i answered. she smiled and led us to a booth in the back of the restaurant. two minutes later my dad walked in.

"he's here," i gasped. he looked like he did before he left but older. his dark brown hair now had grey in it and his beard was longer. he was in his usual attire: jeans, a t-shirt, and a jacket. i took a deep breath before walking over to him.

"hi," i whispered, my voice barely audible. his eyes lit up when he spotted me and a grin appeared on his face.

"i was right, you aren't very little anymore," he beamed. i smiled a little before nervously looking down at my shoes. i was forced to look up when his hands grabbed my cheeks and lifted my head up. he looked all over my face, a small smile on his.

"you were always beautiful but wow, you really grew up, huh?"

"yeah," i exhaled.

"so, where's this boyfriend of yours?"

"r-right here," i heard luke stutter from behind me.

"this is luke," i smiled up at him, "luke, this is my dad."

"you can call me jack," my dad stuck out his arm and luke reached around my to shake his hand. i grabbed luke's hand once he was done shaking my dad's hand and i let him lead me to our table.

"the town hasn't changed much," my dad said once we were seated.

"yeah," i nodded.

"so, where are you from?" he looked at luke.

"australia."

"oh, wow. why'd you come all the way to this tiny town?"

"f-family stuff," he mumbled. i shot my dad a look so he would shut up about it.

"did you talk to mom?" i asked.

"no."

"maggie?"

"al, sweetheart, you have to realize that if i talked to either one of them i wouldn't be able to get a word out because they'd be too busy yelling at me."

"well, you deserve it," i scoffed, "but you aren't going to see them?"

"if i wanted to be murdered i would go see them."

"ah," i nodded. "so why did you call me without thinking i would come find you and kill you?"

"because, well, i don't know. i didn't think i hurt you as much as i hurt your mother." i put my menu down so i could stare at him blankly.

"excuse me?"

"al..."

"no, okay no. yeah you left mom with the kid she never wanted and yeah you walked out on her and did other awful stuff but did you ever think that you left me with an awful mother? you left me with one parent who hates me. she's always hated me and it's your fault i had to grow up with her."

"please don't do this-"

"shut up and let me talk. mom got over you, she went on with her life and it was until just now that she got worse but that's also because we have no money. but i didn't get over you. i still haven't gotten over the fact that you left me. my whole childhood was ruined because of you and now i'm going to be forever fucked up because of it. she'll be fine and she'll move on and get help but there's no hope for me. my mind is a screwed up place and that's because from the very start of my life i had to grow up and learn about awful, awful things."