shrug {lrh}

october 24, 2014

i had some time to spare and i hadn't heard from luke in awhile so i decided to go to his house.

i stopped at the end of luke's driveway. i didn't know if it would be weird if i went up and asked where he was today. would that make me seem clingy and desperate? i decided against it and started walking but i heard someone call my name.

"alexa!" i spun around to see his grandmother in the doorway.

"hi," i waved a little and started walking up the driveway.

"did you need something?" she asked me sweetly.

"i was actually wondering if luke is okay..." i shifted on my feet awkwardly.

she frowned, "he's refusing to come out of his room."

"is he okay?" i asked worriedly.

"i think so. i'm sure that what happened yesterday just messed with his head a little too much," she smiled sadly.

"can i see him?" i asked.

"yes," she nodded, "yes, of course."

i thanked her quietly and stepped into the house. i made my way to luke's room.

i knocked on the door and heard shuffling inside his room but the door didn't open.

"luke," i called softly as i tapped on the door.

"it's just me, alexa," i said. i heard the sound of the door unlocking and i sighed in relief. i turned the doorknob and opened the door. i walked in and shut it behind me. he was lying in bed with what he had on yesterday and was staring at the ceiling. i could here blink-182 playing quietly. he moved his feet so i had room to sit on his bed. i crawled onto the empty space and criss-crossed my legs as i pulled his feet into my lap so he could stretch his whole body out. he was wearing thick, grey socks and i picked at a piece of fuzz on them.

"sorry i left yesterday. my mom found out we skipped and she wanted to talk to me," i sighed. he didn't look at me, just kept staring at the ceiling.

he wasn't even shrugging.

"so, i'm hanging out with michael tonight."

i saw his face hardened and he glared at the ceiling.

"okay so we'll stay away from the topic of michael..." i said and his face turned blank again.

"luke," i sighed, "what's wrong? you aren't even shrugging."

i frowned and started getting up, "do you want me to leave?"

he blinked up at the ceiling.

"i'm gonna go, i guess," i whispered and opened his door. i shuffled out and kept my head down.

"how is he?" his grandmother asked.

my shoulders slumped, "he won't even look at me."

"he must be pretty upset."

"yeah," i nodded, "do you think you could call me or something when he gets better? i'm kind of worried."

"of course," she nodded, "what's your number, i'll write it down once i find some paper...." she shuffled around and picked up a pen and a pad of paper. i gave her my number and she stuck it on the wall next to their home phone.

"i'm sorry. i don't know what i can do to help him or, like, i don't know. i could have-" she held her hand up to stop me.

"you apologize too much."

i nodded because i did; i always felt like everything was my fault.

"well, i need to go get ready for something so i should go," i started backing away.