The Little Black Book For Guys: Guys Talk About Sex

My Uncle and My Hero in One

Anonymous, 23

When I was approached to help on the topic of HIV/AIDS, I felt very uneasy about it. To tell you the truth, I never wanted to write this story because of the pain it brings back to my heart. But I have found comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in experiencing the pain that AIDS causes in its victims and their families, so I hope my story might help someone else find comfort as well.

When I was growing up in the Caribbean, I looked up to my uncle. When I found out he was gay, I accepted him for who he was because he had always treated me better than my parents did. As a teenager, I was going through a difficult time, and later on I realized I had been trying to figure out whether I was gay or not. My uncle knew what was going on and helped me through it all. I could never thank him enough.

Much later, after I came to Canada, I learned that my uncle had contracted HIV. I didn’t find out about it until it was almost too late. I went back to my country to visit him in the hospital. He was in good spirits and I thought he was going to be okay, but I guess I was wrong. The hospitals where I come from don’t really have proper medicines for patients with HIV/AIDS. My uncle was discharged by the hospital with very little medicine to take—just a couple of puffers and some pills for anxiety. He didn’t want my family to find out that he had AIDS, so he went to his home with no one to help him. He died a week later.

I was in total shock when I got a call from a family member and was told he had died. I am still very upset for what my uncle had to go through. He had to deal with his pain and suffering by himself because he didn’t want anyone to know about it. He had no support from any of our other family members. I was, and still am, angry and hurt by this. It is a cruel world already, and no one needs to go through such a thing alone.

I will always admire my uncle for his strength and bravery. He was a good man and the best uncle I will ever have. He was very kind and gentle, and he always took care of others before worrying about himself. I miss him so much and I wish he were still here, but I do find comfort in the memories I have of him.