The Little Black Book For Guys: Guys Talk About Sex

The Big "O"

Orgasm and the Ladies

Lucas Perez

How do you know if a girl had an orgasm? A lot of us guys want to know, right? Well I’m here to warn you: don’t get too hung up on the question. For many people, the end result of sex is orgasm—you feel good and then you cum. For some people, sex is more about feeling good, and cumming may or may not be the end result. The thing is, if we spend too much time focusing on having an orgasm, we can miss the pleasure of getting there. So guys, the ride is just as good as the destination.

So you’re gonna take the time to enjoy the ride, right? But I bet you still want to know: how can you tell if a girl has had an orgasm? Well, unfortunately, guys, we can’t really but there are some signs. Obviously, when a guy orgasms, you get one big freakin’ sign: he ejaculates. When a woman orgasms, the signs are more subtle ’cause her body can react in a number of ways.

She may become flushed and her hips may contract or convulse. Her clitoris fills with blood and may become sensitive, but you won’t be able to see that—only how she reacts if you’re touching it. She may let you know verbally that she’s cumming, by moaning or screaming. Or she might get real quiet. Each woman will have a different reaction when having an orgasm.

Just as guys have different reactions besides ejaculating. Guys can moan, scream, and get flushed as well. Learning about your partner and communicating with your girl will help each of you know how to tell.

Now you’re probably thinking, “Okay, I’ll enjoy the ride and I’ll watch for the destination, but how do I get her there?” Or you’re just thinking, “How do I make girls cum?” Well, there isn’t just one way to bring someone to orgasm. It may take different methods. For a lot of women, vaginal sex does not lead to orgasm ’cause they need more attention paid to the clitoris, which tends to get ignored during vaginal sex. The best thing to do is try to be aware of what turns your partner on. Try different things and see how she reacts. Listen to her and ask her what she wants.

Often guys think they have mad sex skills only if they can make their partners orgasm, and if they can’t, they think they are bad at sex. But that’s the kind of shit that leads some women to pretend to have an orgasm so they won’t hurt a guy’s feelings. If you are aware that your partner can still enjoy sex even without an orgasm and you are cool about it, she may be less likely to pretend.

Also keep in mind that some women have trouble reaching an orgasm. There are a lot of reasons for this. Sometimes it can be a physical thing, and sometimes it can be emotional.

Physical reasons can be stuff like nerve damage, side effects of medications, and some medical conditions. Changes in hormone levels can also have an effect. Emotionally, it could be related to depression, stress, or negative past experiences with sex. Sometimes it can be because of how she feels about her body, or how she feels about the person she is with. Being nervous can also affect a person’s ability to be aroused. You won’t know about your partner unless you talk to her about it.

Better to have it out in the open rather than go crazy thinking up reasons why she’s not into you.