The Little Black Book For Guys: Guys Talk About Sex

Risky Business: AIDS

Gordon McLean

Do you know what AIDS is? Most people actually know very little about AIDS other than that it can kill you. 

There are a lot of myths about AIDS out there. But if you don’t know the bullshit from the facts, you’re putting yourself at a greater risk of contracting the virus that causes AIDS.

THE FACTS

So, here’s the deal: HIV is not AIDS. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS. You get HIV, and HIV can lead to AIDS. Okay? Okay. HIV actually stands for human immunodeficiency virus. Once it gets in your body, it multiplies by messing with your body’s cells. How does it get in your body? By swapping fluids (like blood, vaginal secretions, semen, and even breast milk) with an HIV-positive person. Unprotected sexual activity and sharing needles are two ways to do swap fluids. Once HIV enters your bloodstream, it begins to beat the shit out of your immune system. A weak immune system makes it really difficult for your body to fight off illness and infections. If your immune system gets beaten badly enough, HIV can cause AIDS.

So what’s AIDS? AIDS stands for…

Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome

Key word: syndrome, which means it’s a shitload of symptoms and diseases that gang up on you. AIDS is like the Alamo for your immune system—your immune system defends the body as long as it can, but eventually it gets so weak that it is unable to fight off disease. Many people with AIDS actually die of pneumonia or cancer.

THE BULLSHIT

Don’t let anybody tell you that only gay men need to worry about HIV. The fact is, in the U.S. and Canada, the fastest growing group of people being infected with HIV is young women.

The fact is that everyone is at risk of getting HIV. Gay men have been the scapegoat because HIV and AIDS were first discovered in North America when many gay men became infected. AIDS became a big topic, but doctors and scientists quickly discovered how HIV and AIDS spread and that it wasn’t only gay men who were getting infected. But bullshit tends to stick, and some folks still think you can only get HIV if you’re gay. Thing is, if you’re straight and believe you are not at risk for HIV and AIDS, you’re actually putting yourself in greater danger of getting it. Whoever you are, you gotta know that there are many activities that put you at risk of getting infected. If you know what they are, you can better protect yourself. Read on, bro.

RISKY BUSINESS

On the next two pages are examples of activities that have higher, moderate, lower, or no risks of passing HIV. Remember that if something is listed as “low risk”, it means there is still a risk. Don’t take any chances. Protect yourself from all risky activities whether they are high risk, moderate risk, or low risk.

High Risk

• Unprotected anal sex—Sex without a condom allows fluid such as semen and blood to mix. Anal sex can often result in friction and tearing that opens up access to the bloodstream.

• Unprotected vaginal sex—Sex without a condom allows fluid such as semen, vaginal fluids, and blood to mix. 

• Sharing needles—Sharing needles allows blood to be transferred from one person to another.

• Unprotected vaginal or oral sex with a woman who is on her period—HIV can be found in menstrual blood. This puts you and her at high risk.

Moderate Risk

• Unprotected oral sex—Oral sex is often seen as a lowrisk activity but licking or sucking the penis, vagina, or anus without protection allows for fluids to mix. Any open sores in these areas or in the mouth will increase this risk.

A recent trip to the dentist or even teeth brushing can make gums sensitive and sore.

• Sharing sex toys—Although sex toys don’t have fluids of their own, if you use the same toy on someone else and then yourself, you are transferring fluids between you. Always wash sex toys between uses and use a new condom for each partner.

Low Risk

• Kissing—Kissing is a low-risk activity. HIV has not been significantly detected in saliva. However, any open sores, bleeding gums, or other access points to the bloodstream can put someone at risk.

• Mutual masturbation—Using your hands to masturbate each other or yourself is relatively low risk, but placing your hand on someone else and then yourself can pass infections. Any cuts on your hands or sores on your genitals increase risk.

• Fingering—Putting your fingers inside someone’s vagina or anus is low to moderate risk. If you have any cuts or sores on your hands, your bloodstream is accessible. If you then put your finger in your mouth or in your own anus or genital area, you can pass infections. Use a condom or latex glove over your fingers for protection.

No Risk

• Stroking your partner’s body in non-genital areas—such as the breasts, chest, head, legs, etc.—is safe as there are no bodily fluids involved.

• Massaging your partner in non-genital areas also has no bodily fluids involved.

• Touching or rubbing your partner through outer clothing avoids direct contact with bodily fluids. However, be careful of any fluids that may soak through clothing. Unless your underwear is made of latex, fluids and infections can seep through.

• Jerking off by yourself—hey, if you’re touching yourself, you aren’t sharing anything with anybody! Make sure your hands are clean.

• Phone sex. Get yourself and your partner off just by talking on the phone. Basically, it’s jerking off to the sound of a sexy voice on the other end. No fluids exchanged. Finding a partner who likes phone sex is cheaper than those 1-900 numbers!! Protecting yourself from HIV and other STIs is all part of taking care of yourself. Be sure to decrease the chances you will put yourself at risk. Here are some tips so you can be prepared:

• Always have condoms handy. If you find yourself in a situation with no condom, don’t have sex. It may make for a crappy night but better than a trip to the doctor’s office!

• Don’t have sex if you are high, stoned, or drunk. People are less likely to protect themselves if they have been drinking and/or using drugs.

• If you are with someone who doesn’t want to use a condom, let the girl or guy know why a condom should be used. Don’t have sex with someone who doesn’t want to use a condom or doesn’t want you to use a condom. 

• Anyone can have an STI. Just because someone is clean, says they don’t have an STI, or has been with you for a while doesn’t mean they aren’t infected. Hygiene has little to do with STIs. Many people don’t even realize they have an STI, so they think they don’t have one. And people aren’t always upfront about when they’re having sex with other people. Protect yourself just in case.

Famous People with HIV/AIDS

Eazy-E: Original member of NWA rap group

Freddie Mercury: Lead singer of Queen

Sandra Bréa: Brazillian actress

Anthony Perkins: Actor, Psycho

Makgatho Mandela: Son of Nelson Mandela

Michel Foucault: French philosopher