The Little Black Book For Guys: Guys Talk About Sex

WT(butt)F?

About Anal Sex

Myke Anderson

WARNING: Anal sex is against the law in Canada if you are under the age of 18. Federal courts have ruled that this law is unconstitutional, but the law hasn’t changed yet. In the U.S., anal sex was illegal in some states until the Supreme Court overruled those laws in 2003.

Newsflash, guys: anal sex is not just something gay guys do; in fact not all gay guys do it; in fact, many straight guys do do it (so to speak). Why? Because for men, there are a ton of nerve endings in the anus and the prostate gland, which is located near the anus. All these nerves can provide pleasure to a guy when they are stimulated. Many men experiment with different kinds of anal sex to see if any feel good. Different strokes for different folks, as they say, so some people get the most pleasure out of having anal sex with a man, some people with a woman, and some guys all by themselves. Some guys dig the feel of a dick, others prefer fingers, and still other guys like to use sex toys. Maybe all of the above is what floats your boat. Whatever activity you might or might not be into, you gotta know that anal sex can be a high-risk activity so it is important to know all the facts.

Let’s start with the anus (asshole, butthole—those are other words for it; I’m not calling you names). Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubricant. This is not a place where you want dry friction, so plenty of store-bought lube should always be used. (Check out the piece on lube on pages 105–106.) The anus is surrounded by very strong muscles, called sphincters, that keep the anus closed. These muscles will automatically clench if anything is inserted into the anus. Trying to force anything in while the muscles are tight will literally be a pain in the ass. Going slowly and learning how to relax these muscles can reduce that pain. It may take some time before you are able to insert larger items, such as a penis, into the anus, so be patient—never force anything in there!

Compared to the vagina, which is quite elastic, the anus is a tight-ass. The walls of the rectum, the area just inside the anus, are fragile and can tear easily. That’s what makes anal sex such a very high-risk activity for STIs. Any scrapes or tears can expose your body to STIs by allowing the infections to enter your bloodstream directly. This is one reason why lube is so important.

Bottom line (so to speak): this is risky business, so it is crazy important that you know how the anus works before you even think of having anal sex of any kind.

If you are going to try anal sex, whether you are using your fingers, your penis, or a sex toy, always always always use a condom and lube. If you use a sex toy, put a condom on it, wash the toy between uses, and make sure you only use toys designed for the anus—these will have a broad base so that they can’t get lost in your rectum. (Waiting in the ER with something stuck up your ass is a nasty way to spend a Saturday night.) And guys, if you are planning on giving anal sex to a girl, sperm may still enter the vagina, SO PREGNANCY IS POSSIBLE! Just another reason to always, always, always wear a condom during anal sex. Have I mentioned that you should always wear a condom during anal sex?

There are some other important safety tips to keep in mind when having anal sex:

• Always, always, always use a condom.

• Never use an oil-based lubricant, such as petroleum jelly. Oil breaks down the material in latex and will basically eat holes in your condom.

• Never use lube that contains nonoxynol-9, other spermicides, or any chemicals that numb. This stuff will irritate the anus and rectum and make it more difficult to tell if you are doing any damage.

• Avoid using lubes with sugar or glycerin ’cause they can make you more likely to get bacterial infections. 

• When pulling anything out of the anus, make sure the condom is still on. The sphincter muscle will hold on tight and you don’t want to lose a condom inside your rectum!

• Anal sex can be messy so be prepared. Lube and fecal matter (that’s poo, dude!) can form an unpleasant liquid.

Be sure to wash thoroughly after sex.

Follow these rules, and you’ll have the safest possible experience with anal sex. No ifs, ands, or buts (so to speak) about it.