The Little Black Book For Guys: Guys Talk About Sex

Porn: The Good, the Bad, and the Actuality

Pornography. There’s no shortage of the stuff out there. You got magazines, DVDs, video tapes, pay-per-view, and the good old internet. There’s everything from simple, naked pics to the nastiest, dirtiest shit you never, ever wanted to imagine, let alone see. Some guys want nothing to do with any of it. Some guys want all of it. Most of us fall somewhere in between.

For those of us guys who like porn, we gotta realize that a lot of the stuff we learn about sex comes from what we see in porn. Yeah, we know it’s “just a movie,” but let’s face it, we want to know what sex looks like and more importantly how to do it. Where else are we seeing people going at it? I don’t want to totally knock porn ’cause I like the stuff, but it’s worth taking a look at some of the good and some of the bad that porn might teach us.

THE GOOD

Porn can show that girls can get off and that we can get them off.

• Porn can show that girls can like having sex and that sex isn’t just about the guy getting off.

• Porn demonstrates that a guy can go down on a girl and they both can enjoy it.

• Porn shows that there are a lot of different positions that go far beyond missionary style. I’m not saying that you should do all of these, but there are some that you might want to try.

• Watching porn can also be a good way to release some tension after a long day, especially if you release some of that sexual tension by jerking off.

THE BAD

• A lot of porn suggests that men need to dominate women and “show them who’s boss.” Being confident when having sex with a girl has nothing to do with pushing her down and slapping her ass. It’s about respecting what gets her off as much as what does it for you.

• Porn often shows the guy coming on a girl’s face to finish—a.k.a. a “money shot.” That’s fine if it’s what you and your partner are into, but it’s not how most sex ends in real life.

• Porn says that guys need to thrust as hard and as fast and as long as possible to give a girl an orgasm. In real life, that’s not what most girls want. Ask your girl about what feels best for her during sex.

• Porn shows girls who cum over and over and over. In reality, it is not so easy for most girls to reach a single orgasm. It often takes foreplay and patience.

• Most porn doesn’t show the use of condoms or anything else for safe sex. Unlike in the fantasy land of porn, you are at risk of STIs and pregnancy… especially If you have as much sex as they do in porn.

• Porn also shows us that sex lasts for a long time. Remember that porn uses all the tricks of the movies—acting, editing, even special effects—to create what it’s showing. What you see is not just one long shot in real time.

• In porn, all the guys have huge penises and all the girls have large breasts, which suggests that you need to have a super-human body to be good at sex. Very few people look like porn stars and they still really enjoy sex.

THE ACTUALITY

Porn is porn; it’s not real life. So watch it if you want, but don’t follow it. There’s so much more to actual sex, to how it really feels, to how to do it, and to what goes on inside your head than you’ll ever see in porn. Check out the back of this book for websites that can tell you more about the real deal.