The Oleander Woman [Free Space Series #1]

CHAPTER 41: her pov (7)

There's a lot of times when I try talking to her so we can have a proper conversation. Katulad nalang ng pagsunod ko sa kaniya sa cr nung makita ko siyang magpunta rito.

First gig namin nung gabing yun, at nagpunta siya kasama ng mga kaibigan niya.

Well, she's mad at me. Really... really mad. Halos isumpa niya ako sa sobrang galit. I can see it through her eyes.

"Look, hindi ko alam kung anong trip mo, bakit kinakausap mo ako? Pero I suggest you stay away from me. Ayokong makipag-usap sa'yo."

Why am I doing this anyway? Dapat lumalayo ako sa kaniya, e. Kasi problema lang ang dala niya sa'kin. Mapapahamak kami ni mama kapag hindi ko siya tinigilan.

"Why are you looking at me like I'm gonna hurt you?" Hindi ko na napigilang magtanong.

Sinabihan niya akong hindi niya ako kilala—and it triggers something inside of me. I want her to say my name, kasi ako 'to e. Hindi pupwedeng hindi niya ako kilala. I know she's lying to herself, and I hate it.

"I'm not looking at you like you're going to hurt me because you already did. Narinig mo? Yes. You did already hurt me when you left me two years ago. When you cut our communications, two years ago. When you blocked me and left me with my dad, two years ago. When you let me feel I wasn't worth the risk, two years ago."

Of course you're worth the risk!

Gustong-gusto ko itong isigaw sa kaniya. But what can I do? I'm.. not good when it comes to things like this.

"Ano? You want to hear more? I have a lot of things I want to say to you, girl. But I would rather keep it to myself because I know you will never understand how I feel and what I've been through. Gan'yan ka naman diba? Walang pakialam sa'kin?"

I was left speechless after hearing what she said. Hindi ko magawang ibuka ang bibig ko para ipagtanggol ang sarili—para sabihin sa kaniyang hindi ko choice na iwan siya.

Bumalik ako sa lamesa namin at naabutan ko silang nakabilog at nasa iisang lamesa lahat.

"Bakit? Gusto mo bang maglaban tayo? Sa isang kondisyon syempre. Dapat makakatanggap ako ng kiss kapag nalasing kita. O kaya naman, ako dapat maghahatid sa'yo pauwi."

I secretly clenched my fist as I looked down and directly stared at the glass in front of me.

Hindi ako bingi, naririnig ko lahat ng mga pinag-uusapan nila. They're planning to play a game.

"Hindi pa ako lasing! Payag ako sa gusto mo. Pero kapag ako yung nanalo, susundin mo dapat kahit na anong iuutos ko sa'yo. Deal?"

"Para namang mananalo ka?"

I am aware of Tamg's strong tolerance for alcohol. But the idea of her playing a game with Axel is pissing me off. Knowing that his price is a kiss from her. Paano kung malasing nga siya? At matalo siya nito? Ano? Papayag talaga siyang halikan siya nito?!

"Okay, sabi mo 'yan a. Here, drink it. Sinong magiging count-shot namin?"

"Ako nalang,"

Napaangat ako ng tingin nang pati ang katabi kong si Vixen ay nakisali sa larong pinaplano nila.

"This is bullshit." I commented.

Totoo naman. Kaya hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit parang galit pa saakin si Tamg nang marinig niya ang sinabi ko, e iniligtas ko lang naman siya? She just got saved because of me. Tapos kung ano-ano pang sinasabi niya? Don't tell me she's doing this because she wants Axel too? Is she fucking for real?!

"Your attitude sucks. Sana tumugtog ka nalang sa stage kung pipigilan mo lang pala kaming mag-enjoy."

"Enjoy? Which part of this is the enjoyment? Yung price na makukuha nito?" Iritado kong itinuro si Axel. "You're just doing this so that you can freely flirt with him. You're disgusting." Madiing sinabi ko na nakapagpakunot sa noo niya.