KNIGHTS I-1: Empires High (Primo Knights)

Chapter 38

Primo

My father let out a soft chuckle.

"It won't help you, kaya kumalma ka."

"Why does it feels like you're just chilling there, while I am here waiting for your fucking answers. Gusto kong itanong lahat sa 'yo ng bagay! I know what happened 3 years ago, dahil ako lahat sumalo ng sakit mula sa tanginang taon na 'yon! Napakaraming nangyari sa 2015 but you know what hurts the most?" I stopped for a moment because I know my voice will crack.

"It hurts... when you realized that you're the only one who's hurting about those incidents. Yung pakiramdam na ikaw lang yung nakakaalam na may nangyari 3 years ago, ikaw lang yung nakakaalam ng sakit mula sa nakaraan. But those people who were involved in that year, parang wala lang sa kanila. Parang ang dali lang sa kanila ng lahat, while I am here, patiently waiting for my girlfriend to come back. Pero nakalimutan niya lahat kaya wala akong karamay sa sakit. Wala akong kausap tungkol sa nararamdaman ko." I wiped away my fucking tears to ease the pain, but nothing happened.

"Son, believe me, mahirap kalimutan ang lahat. Kaya alam ko ang nararamdaman mo." I laughed.

"Hindi mo alam, dad. Hindi mo alam. Ang dami ninyong oras para asikasuhin lahat ng bagay na putangina, wala namang kwenta! Pero wala kayong oras sa lahat ng nangyari tungkol sa nakaraan. Ang daming oras ng mga tao na hangaan ako, but no one even asked me if I'm still okay or not. Hindi naman ako nagpakagago noon para parusahan ng ganito. I killed many people already, pero hindi ko kinaya yung balik sa akin. Yung makita palang yung taong mahal mo na tumatawa kahit wala ka, pero ikaw hindi mo magawang tumawa. It hurts more than a gunshot. Dad, alam ninyong lahat kung gaano ko kamahal si Eerrah. I want her to be happy, but it kills me when she's happy without me. I hate it when she can still laugh while I am here hurting. Do you know how much it hurts? Syempre hindi, kasi ako lang naman nakakaramdam lahat ng sakit, kasi sinalo lahat hindi ba?" I laughed sarcastically but a hint of sadness is visible in my eyes. Gusto ko na lang paulit ulit na barilin para matapos na lahat.

"Son, 'wag mong sabihin 'yan. Nasaktan din ako noon kaya pinili kong kalimutan--"

"Nasaktan din ako, pero pinili ko bang kalimutan? Nasaktan din ako, pero nagreklamo ba ako nang saluhin ko lahat? Dad, hindi ko dinahilan yung pagod at sakit na nararanasan ko. Kasi mahal ko yung pinag-uusapan, mahal ko yung nasa sitwasyon kaya paano ko 'yon kakalimutan? I tried everything just to love someone else but I always fail, and I found myself loving my baby much deeper. Nalunod ako nang sobra, and I'm willing to die just to keep her safe. Just to take her away from all the pain. Pero putangina, nasasaktan din ako." Naghalo na ang lahat ng nararamdaman ko, galit, inis, takot, pagkainggit at sakit.

"I'll help you in getting rid of those pains." I shook my head.

"But the one who caused too much pain to me is my baby, and I don't want that pain to go away." I smiled weakly as soon as imagine what will happen to us once that she found out about everything?

"You need to talk to her first. Alam kong alam mo na ngayon ang relasyon ng nanay at tatay ni Eerrah. Hindi bunga ng pagkakamali ang mahal mo, Kaerraon and Isabella used to love each other back then. Talagang minahal nila ang isa't isa," he explained.

"They used to love each other? Are you fucking kidding me?! They're not capable of being in love! Magtatay sila!" I said angrily.

"Well, that's what I thought. But I witnessed how they love each other."

"Even if they really did, they're still not suppose to do that. That's fucking disgusting! She was fucking 10 when they had Eerrah, and you're telling me that it's love? He's a fucking pedophile, and what's worst is it's his own daughter!"

"Eerrah was the result of the experiment the lab did to Isabella and Kaerraon's cell, Primo. They never engaged in sexual activities-"

"What the fuck? Experiment? My baby?"

Dad nodded his head before letting out a sigh. "The things is, Kaerraon thought that Isabella is a traitor. He though that she'll use Eerrah for money and everything that will satisfy her desires, that's why Kaerraon kidnapped Eerrah. Hindi nito pinakilala ang nanay niya kaya ang akala ni Eerrah ay patay na ang nanay niya." 

"Pero bakit hindi ko alam?!"

"For goodness sake, Primo! Because you're too young that time to understand everything! Si Isabella ang nagtangka sa buhay mo, alam mo 'yan. But she didn't mean it at first, hindi niya naman talaga gagawin 'yon, akala ko. But everything gets weird when 2015 comes. Talagang muntik ka na niyang patayin, everyone hated her for doing that. And we all treated her as our fucking enemy. That's why we can't tell the truth to Eerrah. Dahil baka malaman ni Eerrah na ang nanay niya ang muntik nang puma--"

"That what? Na ang nanay niya ang muntik nang pumatay sa akin? That's why I am confused right now. Paano ko sasabihin sa mahal ko yung bagay na 'yon? Hindi ko na kayang dagdagan pa yung nararamdaman nung mahal ko, pero kayo kalma lang?! Kayong mga taong nanggago sa kaniya ang may kakayahang makatulog nang maayos habang kami ang nasasaktan?" I hardly punched the table because of anger. 

"Anak mo ako, dad. Anak ni Kaerraon si Eerrah. At parehas kaming ginagago ng mga magulang namin! Parehas kaming ginagago at sinasaktan ng kadugo namin, sinong hindi mababaliw sa sitwasyon na 'yon?! We are expecting that you guys can help us, pero kayo ang naglagay sa amin dito! You ruined our lives and you ruined everything!" I had a hard time breathing but I manage to laugh sarcastically.

Naglakad na ako palabas ng pintuan, pero bago pa man ako makalabas ay nilingon ko siya.

"What have you people, done to us?"