Chapter 8 | When Depression Hits

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Nicole

I knew I was in for a bad week when I woke up with the empty pit feeling in my stomach and a random urge to cry. At least I was hoping it would only last a week. But I knew that was hoping for too much. It never lasted just a week.

It wasn't hard to notice that Blake was gone. His side of the room was tidy and his bed was made. I never really knew if he slept in the dorm or not.

The most probable answer would be that he had sleepovers with whoever he chose for the week. Saw him hanging around a pretty redhead earlier when I got out of class.

Not that I cared.

With the urge to cry getting stronger, I stepped into my fluffy slippers and dragged my legs into the bathroom, making sure to lock the door even though I was alone in the room. The last thing I wanted was for Blake to walk in to see me ugly crying on the toilet.

Yeah, no thanks.

The moment the lock clicks into place, my tears stream down my face and a strangled sound escapes my lips. Slapping a hand over my mouth, I slide down the door and hug my legs, folding my arms over my knees and burying my face into them.

I didn't remember the last time I cried like this, but I knew I had to let it out so I didn't feel like I was walking on eggshells the entire day. One little inconvenience would trigger a breakdown in public. I sure as hell didn't want that.

After thirty minutes of allowing myself to feel what I needed to, I stood from the ground and looked in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy, and I sniffled when the inevitable snot ran down my nose.

Just cause I was depressed didn't mean I had to look like I was, so I quickly undressed to enter the shower. By the time I got out, a whole hour had passed and the mirror was fogged up.

Wrapping a towel around myself, I exited the bathroom without thinking twice and stopped right in my tracks when I saw Blake standing beside his bed. Despite my shower, my eyes were still puffy and I knew he understood the situation. At least on the fact that I've been crying.

However, he thankfully didn't pay much mind to it as his eyes skimmed down my body and slowly came back up to smirk at me. "Easy access for me huh, sunshine?"

I scoffed and held the towel tighter to my body. "You wish."

"I do wish, but I'm so glad I'm not blind. I get to see how fucking beautiful you are without jeans."

Despite my best efforts, my face heated up and I turned away from him to look for my pajamas inside my side of the closet.

"Even with the towel, your ass is so prominent." He decided to let me know he was checking me out. "Fuck."

I'd be lying if I said I had zero reaction to the way he groaned that last part. Holding in a whimper, I pressed my thighs together as I dug through my drawers to distract myself, gasping softly when I felt him come up from behind.

"Can I touch you, Nicole?" His breath hit the exposed, wet skin on my neck. The way he said my name felt a lot different than all the random nicknames he usually called me. A shiver ran down my spine and my hold on the towel loosened a bit. "Nicole?" He tried again when I didn't say anything.

Shaking my head to snap out of it, I shifted away from him and let the cold air from the room hit my back again. "No, you can't, Blake," I sighed, disappointed that I took so long to reject him this time. "Quit invading my personal bubble."

I was emotionally vulnerable. At least that's what I kept telling myself. Because for a second, I actually considered letting him touch me.

Finally managing to pull out everything I was going to wear, I avoided his gaze as I made my way back into the warm bathroom to change.

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