sex addicts [michael clifford]

2: cinnamon buns

"you see," devon started, pacing back and forth in the condensed circle, "sex is pure fun. it's harmless, if you know what you're doing. and it's even more harmless when you don't stick with the same person for more than a night."

michael stared at her blankly. half of him didn't understand while the other half didn't want to understand. "but shouldn't the point of having sex be that you love them and want to spend the rest of your life with them? you know, devotion?"

devon rolled her eyes and smirked. "you're so cute."

"then how'd you become a sex addict?" a boy asked, and michael eyed the boy who said his name was luke.

she grinned. "i fucked calum hood for two cinnamon buns."

everyone in the circle let out a collective gasp, staring at her in horror. "were they good cinnamon buns at least?" luke asked tentatively, staring up at her behind his long lashes.

"yup, ate 'em right off his nicely sculpted abs."

all the girls looked at her in admiration while michael looked at her with pure disgust. "so you're like a prostitute for cinnamon buns?"

devon let out a high pitched giggle. "what can i say? a girl needs to eat."

tom cleared his throat, obviously becoming increasingly uncomfortable. "let's all respect each other in this therapy session. now michael, why are you here?"

"well, i kind of want to break my habit. i'm scared that one day she'll come up to me and tell me she's pregnant, and i don't think i'm ready for a responsibility that big."

"use a condom, idiot," devon interrupted, and michael shot her a death look.

"you know those things are only, like, 97% effective right? i learned that from friends."

the girl scoffed. "then make sure she's on birth control, too. you people never learn."

once again, tom cleared his throat and shifted in his chair. "that's enough. michael, we're here to help you with your problem, and we'll help you get through this quickly. isn't that right, guys?"

"we're here for you, michael," everyone mumbled, except for devon. she slumped down in her chair, keeping one eyebrow continuosly arched at him.

by the time therapy was over, michael shot up from his seat in an effort to leave without being noticed by devon. he failed.

"excuse me, clifford." he felt a faint tap on his shoulder and twisted around slowly, not wanting to argue with her once again.

"what?"

"why are you rushing outta here in such a hurry? are you gonna go fuck your girlfriend again? the only girl you fuck?"

michael grimaced and looked down at her. "i was actually trying to run away from your bitchy attitude, but clearly it's following me everywhere."

devon's smile faded fast, only to be replaced by a frown. "look, i know we got off to a bad start but - "

"but what? you want us to at least tolerate each other so you have an excuse to make fun of my small yet oddly significant sex life? the answer is no," michael said pointedly, making his way towards the exit and not giving her the chance to reply.

devon started trailing after him before realizing that she should just give up. "wait, clifford!"

he looked over his shoulder once more. "what?" he spat.

she gave him a smirk and crossed her arms over her chest. "try not to run into anyone, panty dropper."

michael rolled his eyes and left the building, wondering how anyone on this earth could be so inconsiderate.

-

oh god hello guys

am i gonna go to hell for writing this

is christ watching

anyway i hope you're enjoying this story because it's so much fun to write yay

please vote and comment and all that stuff i love you all :--))