Searching- A saga ✔

7- One night

The path led me into a forest,

Roaming I was, searching for Him,

Exhaustion beckons, surroundings dim,

And around I gaze for a place to rest.

I gather dry grass and fallen leaves,

And prepare my mattress with weary fingers,

My body worn out and agony lingers,

From the long day passed that none believes.

The wintry night blows out a gale of ice,

I shiver and hug myself taut,

And creep into my crude, cruel cot,

The wind roars and sputters snow and bise,

As I coax sleep into my spent eyes,

Days have stretched,

Into dusk and nights,

And nights gave birth to many a dawn.

The moon hangs down ,

Like a beautiful orb,

Dangling by a thread, 

From the ceiling of sky.

Cold compels me to writhe and tremble,

Alone in this place where nature rumbles,

Hay and chaff of my make-shift mat,

Poke and scratch and gouge my skin,

Biting cold and biting mattress,

Endless days and endless quests,

Cruel nights and cruel exhaustion,

Wrap me around their illusions.

Morning would dawn after sleepless nights,

And wake I shall to another nightmare,

This cold and ice of winter nights,

Would merge and coalesce to merciless mornings.

Tears wet my cheeks,

Self pity burns my heart,

How long? I think.

How long before I lose my sanity?

I think back about the day I fell,

That blue black hand and peacock feathers,

And about the days I drowned,

And about days when I realized things too late.

'A little help now, would be welcome'.

Or so I think as I palpitate with fear

And grief at what my journey has become,

To love or not, at the brink of tears.

I curl myself into a ball of brittle pessimism,

And into the calling arms of sleep, I delve,

Shivering and trembling at the arms of winter,

And dreams plagued with nightmares- a dagger's helve.

I drift in and out of sleep,

Beset with torments in between,

I wait for the chilly night to fade,

Only to fade into sleep again.

I feel warmth and a swish of silk,

But too tired to open my sleep laden eyes,

I felt peaceful and in it reveled,

Maybe I was dying from the numbing ice.

Daylight breaks in glory finesse,

As I break open my eyes to witness,

The sun rays cascading in across,

The dense canopy  filled with frost.

Am I dead? I whimper at the peace.

At this rate, the snow should have claimed me.

The night was awful but now strangely still,

And yet 'midst the snow bizarrely warm.

A shawl of yellow silk curtained me,

Oddly warm and smelt of incense,

I felt the rich material in my arms ,

Ransacking my brain for any evidence,

As to how I ended up in this silken shawl,

The shawl radiated heat as if the owner had just left,

But I knew better- The owner had been long gone,

For this shawl spoke of elemental immortal power,

As I wrap the serape about myself ,

The bright yellow warm against my bare skin,

I feel something flutter out ,

From the folds of the swaddled cloth,

A lone peacock feather danced in the phantom wind,

As it traced its trajectory down pulled by Earth,

Tears wet my cheeks as I realize once more,

Yet too late; I can almost hear His chuckle far away.

Saved me again, but to what end? 

To leave me again in the arms of claiming torment?

How long? I think.

How long before I lose my sanity?